As we entered the Grotto at Lourdes, his chances of getting into the baths looked slim. Hundreds of people from all over the world were there on that cold, rainy afternoon. The burly security guard kept shaking his head sternly, “No more”. Steve pulled out his rosary and began to pray silently. Less than half an hour later we got a message via his cell phone. He was in. After silently talking to our blessed Mother, he asked the guards: “No room for just one more?” They opened the gate and allowed him in from amidst the hundreds. Our Mother saw him, heard his prayer and listened as only a mother knows how.

I have always looked to Mary for guidance in my vocation as mother. I believe that my mission here on earth is to get all my children into heaven, and what better mentor than Mary – who was given that mandate.

Motherhood has become lost in the clutter that surrounds modern-day womanhood. The world expects us to walk around in high-heeled shoes and power suits, and recommends technology – X-boxes, iPads and cable TV – as perfect babysitters. It is a world of dons and drug pushers and their glorified life of crime, a world in which fidelity and family values are struggling to stay afloat.

Often I have looked at mothers who have lost children and have wondered if, at the core of their pain, there is fear concerning where that child’s soul has gone. It is our challenge as mothers to cut through the clutter and find the essence of motherhood – to nurture, mould and to tell all that is evil, “Not this soul.”

My grandmother would often promise to “pass a dec’” for people, and indeed spent her last days “passing decs”. My mother, along with my father, wakes up at four o’clock every morning and prays for us. Doesn’t it feel good to know that a prayer for you goes up to heaven every day! I love to think of womanhood as “dancing in Sarah’s circle” with the women that surround me – my daughter, my sisters, my mother, my friends, all sharing a faith that calls us to create a clean, well-lit spot in our children’s lives where they can come to refresh themselves and bathe in our love and tenderness, going away again clothed in our mantle of protection that is fortified with much prayer and love.

And the rewards are there. When my children face struggles, I see them fighting the good fight. I know when it’s going to be rough for them because that is when they find me. And, when they bend their head for a fleeting benediction, I understand as only a mother can.

Here in Lourdes with me also is my sister Gail and my daughter Simone, aka Simsy. As the final hymn starts, As I kneel before you, and I am about to open the hymn book, Simsy stops me: “You don’t need to Mummy, I know that one by heart. It’s what you used to sing to put me to sleep.” That’s not all. As she joins us in the circle of womanhood, she turns often to me now and says, “Mummy, whisper an Ave for me.”

Sandee Bengochea, wife, mother of four adult children, two granddaughters and a beautiful daughter-in-law, is a business trainer by profession. A presenter of Enriching Family Life on TCN, she once co-wrote the Family Matters column of the Catholic News