Our story begins in March 1979 when my wife Barbara and I, attended a Marriage Encounter Programme for married couples at the Pax Guest House at Mount St Benedict.

This programme deeply affected our relationship, both emotionally and spiritually, to the extent that we were eager to become more involved in the service of our Church and the wider community.

One of the areas in which we became involved, was that of ministering to couples who were planning to be married in the Church.

We joined forces with the many other married couples who were already supporting this programme in the evening programme at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Port of Spain.

After being in the programme for a couple of years, Barbara and I were asked by Wilfred and Kay Holder, the couple responsible for introducing Catholic Marriage Encounter to Trinidad and Tobago, whether we would be willing to attend a weekend programme to enhance our ability to better serve the couples who were being prepared for marriage. This programme was scheduled to take place in Barbados in September of 1981. We hesitated at first but later accepted their offer. 

We were accompanied on our journey to Barbados by a priest and three other couples from Trinidad – Fr Neil Rodriguez, Richard and Marilyn Webster, Harold and Elvina Wellington and Jim and June Kelly.

It was my first meeting with Fr Neil and the Kellys, but I knew the Websters and the Wellingtons quite well through Marriage Encounter. There were also some other participants who came from Barbados, St Lucia and Dominica.

The presenters of this programme were Fr Pat Mc Donaugh, now deceased, a delightfully, cheerful Canadian priest, and an American couple, Ron and Anne Trudell, who were totally committed to ensuring that all couples planning marriage in the Church, understand fully what the sacrament of marriage means, and are given some of the important tools for having the best possible chance of a long and happy union.

The weekend programme was very stimulating and enlightening, and although very tiring at times, went quite well for most of us. It was all in all a fantastic weekend that reinforced our commitment to Church and community, and the goal of living and enjoying married life to the fullest.

Barbara and I realised how much more this experience would enhance our own relationship, and that we would be able to share with the couples preparing for marriage in the Cathedral programme in a deeper and more meaningful way.

We were in for a very big shock.
On Sunday evening, nearing the end of the programme, we were told that when we got home, using all that we had learnt on the weekend, and all the written material that was given to us, we were required to set up a new programme in our respective countries, called “Catholic Engaged Encounter” and it should take the form of a weekend programme similar to that which we had just completed.

Some of us stated that we were not very pleased about this and mumbled: “We came here thinking that it was just something to give a little reinforcement to the evening talks some of us now do. No way are we going to set up any new programme.”

Little did we know that God had His own plans for us.
On returning home, and after much discussion, we prayed about it, asking God for His guidance as to what was required of us. We soon realised what we had to do, there was no turning back. Once we said yes, we made our commitment to put on the first weekend programme in March 1982.

This required the priest and two couples to be ready with their written presentations in five months. Each person had to write eight papers or “talks”.

In addition, accommodation and all attendant services had to be quickly organised (advertising, registration forms, food arrangements, money etc)too many to list here.

Fr Neil (second from right) stands with couples Harold and Elvina Wellington, left, Lawrence and Barbara de Freitas and Richard and Marilyn Webster

Barbara and I, like Fr Neil, Richard and Marilyn and Harold and Elvina pressed on, each person writing on eight different structured topics of our personal lives.

After writing each topic, which seemed to take a very long time to complete, they had to be sent by mail to Ron and Anne in the USA for scrutiny (workshopping).

There was a feeling of relief when the papers were finally approved. The process took many months of hard work to complete.

We were indeed very happy when the talks for the priest, Fr Neil Rodriguez, and the two couples, Larry and Barbara de Freitas, and Richard and Marilyn Webster were finally approved, because this meant that the first weekend programme could proceed as planned.

A date for the weekend was set for mid-March 1982. Everything was now in place to put on the weekend. The teams: two couples and priest (mentioned above)
The engaged couples: sixteen
The venue: Holy Cross College, Arima, generously donated by Fr Ned Foley, principal
The Sleeping Apparatus: mattresses, pillows etc transported by Walter and Sheryl Peters
On site caterer: Ambrose and Jenny Sammy
Back up couple: Harold and Elvina Wellington
Helpers: ME couples.

We were indeed ready to go and were very elated about it. The very last thing to be done was our final meeting scheduled to take place during a weeknight, a couple days before the Friday of the weekend at the Webster’s home in St Augustine.

It was late evening when I picked up my briefcase containing the registration forms, monies collected, all our approved talks and a few miscellaneous bits of paper work.

Barbara and I left our home at Diego Martin to pick up Harold and Elvina who lived not far from us. On our way to the meeting, we were required to call in at Lennox and Shirley Lalsingh who lived at Valsayn Park North.

On arrival I parked my car in front of the Lalsingh’s residence and we all went into the house. We stayed there only for a short while and then proceeded to the Webster’s residence. On arrival there we realised that the briefcase was not in the car.

We telephoned the Lalsingh’s to check whether someone had mistakenly taken it inside the house and left it there, but it was not found. We came to the conclusion that a thief had entered the unlocked car and taken the briefcase while we were in the Lalsingh’s home.

We were devastated, there was so much at stake, all our preparation and planning over the past months seemed to have come to naught.  One could have felt the emotional anguish in the room; you could have cut into the aura of despair with a knife, it was that thick: but we are Christians and we were taught how to pray.

In the room Fr Neil gathered us together in prayer and pray we did. There and then Fr Neil said to us: “Come let us go”. “Go where?” Was our response. His response: “To the place where I am seeing it. In an open field, not far away from where the car was parked.”

We all left and went back to the area at Valsayn Park. There were many open fields there; the area was not as built up as it is today. Armed with torches and sticks, we all began to search. Search we did among the plants and farmers’ plots and all the open spaces we could find, but to no avail.

Fr Neil was certain that the case was somewhere in that area. As time went on as it was very late and the night was dark, we called off the search to return early the next morning. We all left our homes very early and arrived in the area at dawn.

When we got there, we saw literally, dozens of persons in the open fields, some of them we did not even know very well, with sticks and other implements searching the bushes for the stolen briefcase. They were all persons who had experienced a Marriage Encounter weekend and had come to help. Some of them came from as far as Arima. I later learned that Lennox and Shirley Lalsingh had informed them of our plight.

Suddenly, there was a loud shout from the same field that Fr Neil identified in his vision the night before. “I’ve found it! I’ve found it!” The shout came from Harold Wellington.

You can imagine, the joy that permeated the area that beautiful morning. There was much jubilation.

It had rained during the night, the case was found wet and in a semi-opened position. The cash was the only thing missing, all the presentation talks and other paperwork were intact and dry. The weekend for the sixteen couples came off without a hitch and turned out to be a total success.

We wish to publicly thank all who played a part in this our first and very special Engaged Encounter Weekend of March 1982. Most of all we thank God for His goodness and mercy.