This year’s retreat for Teams of Our Lady in Trinidad took place at Emmaus, Arima. 

Approximately 23 couples along with over 26 children of all ages ranging from a few months’ old attended from the night of Friday, July 6 to lunchtime Sunday, July 8.

The theme of the retreat was taken from the gospel of the opening Mass  – “Follow me” (Mt 9:9) – Following Christ in Everyday Married Life.

Fr Christian Chambers celebrated Mass with us on Friday night to start the retreat. He focussed on the meaning of contemplative prayer, which he compared to “liming with God”, with God as the driver, and we as the passengers always ready to go along and say yes to God and follow his guidance.

The vigil which followed consisted of silent meditation during which Fr Chambers interjected with prayers for couples in different situations.

Saturday morning began with Morning Prayer and Mass with Fr Christian. This was followed by Fr Joe Harris who renewed in each one of us the true spirit of marriage spirituality giving us concrete ideas to put into practice.

He reminded us that there is a distinction between love and emotional attachment. Courtship, which is essential throughout marriage, helps keep the emotional attachment intact. Love in its true essence is the intention to do the best you can for your spouse in spite of difficulties and lack of appreciation.

In pealing back the layers of the true meaning of marriage, we reviewed the definition of marriage as “a partnership for the whole of life for the good of spouse and the procreation and education of children”.

In taking apart this definition we looked at the fact that men and women are created with equal dignity, marriage is therefore not a democracy, rather it is a partnership, with a spirit of consensus, in which even children are encouraged to participate in family meetings to address pertinent issues affecting the family.

The good of the spouse, refers to the fact that as a married person our prime concern should be to help (not hinder) our spouse to reach heaven by all our thoughts and actions.

Procreation of children: Father delved into the fact that God’s love is a fruitful love and as such the Church is against selfish reasons for birth control, both artificial and natural, as it goes against God’s will.

Education of children brings into focus the religious formation of children. This must be addressed in the home as it is the primary responsibility of the parent. Preparation of children to become parents themselves, as well as living out virtues is taught mainly by example.

Habits such as loyalty and stick-to-it-iveness (fortitude), so uncommon nowadays have to be lived out for others to follow. Parents were also discouraged from allowing the television to baby-sit our children, as we allow unwanted vices to permeate their impressionable minds.

Fr Neil Rodriguez at Teams of Our Lady retreat

Fr Neil and Fr Robert

Fr Harris then touched on some alarming divorce statistics - at present, 50% of marriages in Trinidad and Tobago end in divorce!

One of the crucial factors is that many go into marriage with the idea that their future spouse can make them happy, not realising that the secret to a real lasting marriage is putting the other first, trying to make the other happy.

The fundamental reality is “Nobody can make you happy but yourself”.

Couples preparing for marriage should also be aware that there are marriage capabilities that exist: physical, intellectual, mental/psychological that should be addressed to ascertain if both partners are freely entering into the marriage and not just having a wedding.

Fr Harris challenged us as lay couples, members of the Catholic Church to imbue the secular with Christian values, because when we withdraw other forces come in and take over.

To continuously strengthen our resolve we should meditate on the Gospel together. If we believe in God then we also believe in what God has said about marriage “It is the image of Christ’s love for the Church”.

After this very fruitful discussion all the couples were encouraged to have a “sit-down” or intimate chat with each other on the question, “God’s love is faithful, forgiving, total and fruitful, how have we as a couple lived up to these aspects and how can we reflect them in society?”

The next session was for Teams meetings, where we were split into four groups of four to six couples, in which, through answering set questions, we looked at following Christ and living the Gospel message in our daily lives in practical ways and evaluating if we measure our way of thinking and living against God’s will for us.

We reunited as one group to share our responses and Fr Neil Rodriguez, addressed the gathering. The following are a few salient points highlighted:

• You can shape the world by:
• Choices you make
• Values you choose
• Right attitude

• The Five Languages of Love
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time (with spouse)
• Receiving gifts (from spouse)
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

Saturday night ended with a beautiful healing service led by Fr Robert Llanos. Before the Blessed Sacrament, using his gift of discernment, Father prayed for specific physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, psychological healing for individuals and between spouses.

He touched on many ailments of the body, and other issues pertaining to relationships, it was a truly uplifting experience.

After morning prayers on Sunday morning we listened attentively to the couples who had attended the Worldwide Gathering, held every six years, in Lourdes in September 2006.

The common thread through each couple’s experience was “It was like a little piece of heaven”, the constant praise and worship, all night and day, the different languages being heard, yet still the unity of the hymns and prayers in Latin.

The actual Mass, which was held in the underground Basilica, was the highlight with 900 priests in procession, 10,000 persons attending and 300 people in the choir. The messages brought back were the “power of the family on earth”, and a reminder that “home is a holy place”.

Also included was an interesting activity of writing and sharing about what we each had done with our hands over the past two weeks to minister God’s love to our family.

This was an activity introduced to us by two couples who had attended the Super Regional Conference (with couples from the UK, Ireland, South Africa and Malawi) in England the previous weekend and which they also reported on.

Fr Robert and Fr Neil were concelebrants at the closing Mass, which was solemn and joyful.

In his homily Fr Robert elaborated on the fact that the disciples were instructed to take almost nothing with them as a way of remembering to place their trust in God. The presentation at the end was especially joy-filled.

Fr Neil was presented with gifts because that same day he was celebrating his 45th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood. He was given a standing ovation for being a true Father to us as a movement, having been the first chaplain and effectively bringing the Teams formation structure of married life to our shores over 23 years ago.

The weekend could not have been complete without the great meals prepared by the staff at Emmaus, as well as the excellent job performed by the baby sitters who allowed parents to get the valuable quality time needed to share and get the most out of the weekend.

Once again a truly memorable weekend retreat that was simple, yet truly inspirational.