Dear Editor: Half-way through his twenty-eighth year of earthly existence, it is evident to me that my son is not nearly as focused on achieving a positively enriching and responsible approach to living out his life.

As his father, I continue to exploit a mixed range of motivational strategies, all aimed at kick (no pun)-starting him into self direction and self-realization. I cajole and quarrel; I reason, encourage and support; I threaten, embarrass and complain; I express hope, love and caring; I affirm, judge, analyze and I help him toward self analysis; I listen, I give him space and time; I wait, I pray and more

Independent-minded (naturally), he stares blankly at me for the most part and journeys on into his largely unspiritual and passion-less lifestyle (my empirical conclusion). Meanwhile, his God-given personal gifts remain underdeveloped.

Some nights ago, a friend of mine told me that I will soon lose my son. His tone clearly ascribed blame for that imminent 'loss' (alienation?) to me, by way of the 'pressure' on my son that he, my friend, perceived was the result of my demanding strategies. My friend's perspective alarmed and hurt me. I felt misunderstood since, through my friend, I sensed my son's own pain and his rejection of the values to which our Catholic family aspires throughout his lifetime.

In response, I went home and invited my son to join my wife and me in our bedroom and asked him to sit with us on our bed. With an unspoken prayer to God for His guidance, I dispassionately sought to provide my son with insight into himself. I was hoping to imbue the habit of critical thinking into his wary consciousness.

Over the next several minutes, my words centered around the fact that each individual adult remains responsible and answerable for his/her own actions, non-actions and the resulting consequences. I deliberately put aside the feeling disappointment (in his less-than-mediocre approach to his life) and the tendency to emphasize our own expectations of him which my wife and I share in common.

 Instead, I discussed what his expectations of himself should be as a Catholic MAN in his challenging, daily personal environments. I pointed him, once again, to the path of self-responsibility and self-direction. I touched on the obligation of every rational adult to pursue positive, altruistic self-development and to the inextricable connection of it all to his duty to his God who created him for meaningful purposes.

Through it all, I infused a thought that I may, sometime, verbalise to my friend ... that I have already 'lost' my son and that, indeed, all that I am doing is trying to help my son to find himself again. The choices are really up to my son himself, after all.

May God help us all and bless us with His grace, keeping us strong in the face of our imperfections, our intrinsic doubts and extrinsic judgements.
A Catholic Father, San Fernando

DEAR EDITOR: Father G Farfan is cheerful, approachable and definitely insightful to persons of all ages.

This was my observation as he spoke about Biblical roots and our Covenant with God in Session II of the “Experiencing the Mass” seminar, last Sunday, at the St Theresa’s church in Malick, Barataria.

Now, for me, a young Catholic and not too well versed in the lingo “Biblical roots and our Covenant with God”, I thought it might have been a bit much to swallow. No matter how much I’ve heard about this topic before, it always seemed so complicated. Not the case last Sunday.

According to Fr Farfan, “God invites us to have a voluntary relationship with him”. Once we choose to enter into this mutual relationship, we have entered into a Covenant with our Father.

This covenant, he explained, can only be symbolised when we sacrifice the negative practices in our lives and start knowing, loving, and serving God. As he spoke I thought to myself, how easy it was for me to gossip and nit-pick at things as opposed to trying to demotivate others from doing it.

So, this seminar so far has really been an eye-opener for me and what I love most about it is that there is a question and answer period, where any question about the Mass or maybe even about the Catholic faith can be answered by Fr Farfan.

The questions can be placed at the entrance of the church and like the seminar, are open to persons of all ages, religions and genders.

There will be two more sessions with Fr Farfan about the Biblical roots of the Mass and I’m really looking forward to them. The seminar continues next Sunday and starts directly after the 9:00 a.m.  Mass.

So I suggest if you always wanted to know about a practice at Mass or more about your religion, why not come on down to St Theresa’s church in Malick, Barataria, next Sunday. 

Submit as many questions as you like and each question is guaranteed to be answered.
Patrice Edwards via email