I woke up rejuvenated on Friday, September 14, having returned the day before from a five-day retreat at a Dominican Retreat Centre in Cork, Ireland.

This was a day I had been looking forward to for quite some time, but which was only the beginning of a life-changing journey. It was on this day that I received the Dominican Habit, formally entering into the Novitiate year of the Order of Preachers (the Dominican Order) of the Irish province, of which Trinidad is a part.

Later in the morning, I waited anxiously for the Mass to begin. As I waited, I reflected on this truly momentous occasion in my life, heralding a new stage of development. It would be remiss of me not to point out that, though I was content to follow the call of God, I was still grappling with the anxiety of the almost surreal journey I was about to embark on.

With a curiosity stricken mind, my eyes peered at the holy men in front of me and I asked myself if I was really willing to embrace the gift God was holding before me.

In the Order, it was but a simple ceremony within the heavenly marriage feast of the lamb, (the Mass), but for me, it was much more, it was an acceptance to plunge out into the deep, surrendering completely to God.

As the Holy Mass progressed, I went to the front of the altar, together with the two other novices, Colm Mannion and Luuk Jansen, where we were invited to lie prostrate on the ground as a sign of total submission to God and to his will. Though only for a few seconds, my mind tried to comprehend this outward sign of God’s inward workings.

What does it mean to surrender yourself completely to God and accept formation towards the priesthood? Was I willing to give up myself entirely to God and for his Church? The moment was over and I rose and went back to my seat, still contemplating what was taking place.

Matthew Martinez (centre) with Msgr Stewart (left) and Fr Lawson

After a bit more of the Mass, the novices were then invited to come to the altar and be clothed in the Habit by the Provincial.

I, being the youngest in the group, made my way to the altar last and knelt down before the Provincial.

Over my clothes was placed the tunic, the long white scapular, the white capuche and the black capa and, with a rosary attached to the cincture (belt) on my waist, a reminder of the continued presence of Mary and Jesus in my journey.

Following being clothed with the habit, I greeted each of the priests and brothers, in a very emotional exchange of being welcomed into the Dominican family.

My own parish priest, Fr Thomas Lawson, together with Monsignor Michael Stewart of St Vincent and the Grenadines, were among the priests who presided at the Mass.

I was very grateful for their presence at such an auspicious occasion. Following the Mass, Colm, Luuk and I signed the admissions book to finalise our entry into the Novitiate, and then proceeded to the refectory for a tasty meal together.

It has been just a few weeks since I began the Novitiate here in Ireland and I can say that my experience has been a good one thus far. Many of the priests of the Order, including three in the community where I live, have worked in Trinidad at one time or another, which makes for great “liming” at the dinner table.

Everyone here has been extremely good to me, which has made my transition into this new way of life easier. Though the weather is, of course, much colder than in Trinidad, I am continuing to try to adapt as much as I can.

 I consider myself very privileged to be given the opportunity of beginning my formation in Ireland and am certainly going to make the most of all the opportunities that come my way, so that in the end, I can give back to the Catholic Church in the Caribbean region.

I see this as a time to grow in formation and broaden my perspective. It will be a time of inward journeying, away from all that is familiar to me, a time of learning, a time of exploring and a time of exchange.

I would like to conclude with a word to all those who might be thinking about the priesthood. When I first felt God’s calling, I was only eighteen years old and my first reaction was, “No way, God, I’m going to get married and have a family. Find someone else.”

Thus began a journey of grappling, which lasted seven years, during which I experimented with teaching and missionary work, as well as achieving a university degree.

During this time, I felt God calling again and again and I asked for more time to fulfill some other desires of my heart. In light of this, as a patient Father, God gave me just that, but at the same time, the call persisted.

Interestingly, at the beginning of this year, I had no intention of beginning my novitiate this year, but then was challenged by a brother and a priest to “land the plane” and make a decision.

 It was at that moment that I realised that all my reasons for putting off the beginning of formation were superficial and had to do with satisfying unimportant wants. My need, however, was to answer the call of God.

I do understand very clearly, however, that the journey has only begun and in time I may discern that God has other plans for me. At the present time, however, I am content in my decision to follow the call of God in my heart and surrender myself to his will.

I encourage all those who are thinking of a vocation to the priesthood and/or religious life, not to run away but to grapple with the prospect.

Has God destined you to receive this gift from him? Is God calling you to be “fishers of men”? As Pope John Paul II (the Great) said, “Do not be afraid!” Give yourself time, but do not be afraid to answer the call of God.