Archbishop Gilbert presents José and Barbara Salazar with a papal award

José and Barbara Salazar recently received a papal award for their many contributions, over the past 53 years, to the Church and, in particular, for their work in marriage preparation and Engaged Encounter.

Archbishop Gilbert and close friends, Frs Malcolm de Verteuil and Vincent Compton, officiated at Mass in Archbishop's Chapel, on Friday, November 18, when the award was presented to the couple.

It was 23 years ago, that late Archbishop Anthony Pantin invited them to join the Family Life Commission, and to participate, as facilitators, in Engaged Encounter evenings.

In time, Fr Hezekiah encouraged the couple to take up the role of co-ordinators of the national chapter of the international Engaged Encounter programme in Port of Spain .

The couple reveal the programme has had many positive influences on their own relationship. Mrs Salazar remembers it was their first session at a Marriage Encounter weekend that inspired them to start doing things together as a couple. They saw their marriage as a sacrament that was both important to the Church and one to be shared with others.

She confesses it was important for them to be on good terms with each other before going to an Engaged Encounter and giving talks to young couples.

They take care not to represent marriage in unrealistic terms, but attempt to pass on tools to keep the lines of communication open. Dialogue, says José, is one of the key ingredients to a good marriage. Barbara quickly adds: “We emphasise to all couples they must be open and honest at all times.”

They both say they feel privileged to be part of the marriage preparation of young couples, providing practical tools for everyday life and strengthening bonds.

They want young couples to be happy in their marriages: these form the foundations of the families of tomorrow. Barbara and José pay special tribute to all facilitators in the Engaged Encounter programme, recognising their hard work, dedication and belief in Christian family life.

The programme does not always turn out as the couples expect. They may realise they have important issues to work out before they marry, or they are not suited to each other. José says it is better that couples come to these realisations early on.

There are two options open for couples to participate in an Engaged Encounter programme: an Engaged Encounter Weekend which allows the couple to focus on their relationship, look at issues and answer questions between themselves, or they might participate in eight Engaged Encounter evenings.

These cater to shift workers, students and persons who, for various reasons may not be able to attend a weekend programme. This programme focuses more on group participation.

The Salazars recommend that couples attend Engaged Encounter weekends or evenings, at least six months before their marriage. This ensures their focus is on building their relationship, and not on all the goings-on surrounding wedding preparations.

They applaud priests for getting more serious about ensuring engaged couples attend the programmes, and understand they are entering into a sacrament.

Drawing upon the Engaged Encounter motto, the Salazars say: “A wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. Marriage preparation gives you the tools to go home and work at (your relationship).

Every day you must work at your marriage and every day you must make a decision to love.”