There is a dynamic Catholic singles group here in T&T. It is called Singles For Christ (SFC) and caters for single men and women from age 21 to about 40, although the upper age limit is flexible.

SFC falls under the umbrella ministry called Couples For Christ. This is "womb to tomb" ministry. It includes Kids For Christ, Youth For Christ, Singles For Christ, Couples for Christ, Handmaids of the Lord (for widows, and single mature women) and Servants of the Lord (for widowers and single mature men).

CFC is an international organisation started in the Philippines in 1981 and is now in over 120 countries. There are no major international conferences, though Caribbean conferences are held, and each country has their own local head couple. Mark and Wendy Poon Tip are the head couple for T&T.

To become a member of any of the CFC ministries, you first have to take part in a Christian Life Programme, something like a Life in the Spirit Seminar, and on completion you decide if you want to commit. Once you commit, you are placed into a household, a group of about five to eight people made up of others in your category.

Each Singles For Christ household elects a household leader. Meetings are held regularly, every week or two, and members take turns hosting meetings.

They pray, share ideas on the bible or on the Church's teachings, discuss various topics, and then they have a meal or snack and "ole talk".

Usually the SFC groups are separated into men's and women's groups but occasionally they decide to have joint household meetings.

Once a month each area or unit tries to have a general assembly. This is where all the Couples For Christ ministries, SFC, YFC, Handmaids, etc, in that unit get together for a meeting. These meetings are similar to the household ones and include prayer, discussion and fellowship.

The singles groups also join forces on a national scale. There is a core committee that plans activities for the entire SFC body. Last year they held pro-life and anti-contraception seminars. There is also a Singles For Christ retreat held every year at the Caroni Retreat centre for all members.

Of course, like any true singles group, there are opportunities to socialise and have fun. Last year a hike to Maracas waterfall, kayaking and a visit the archery range were among the list of SFC activities. This year there was an all-inclusive fete as part of a week of celebrations for CFC's anniversary. For limes and general assemblies people who are not members are often invited.

At the start of 2005 there were SFC units in Sangre Grande, Cumuto, Arouca, St Augustine , San Juan , Diego Martin and Maraval/Paramin. Christian Life Programmes (CLPs) are planned for Paramin, Laventille and Tacarigua between February and March.

Mostly concentrated on the east-west corridor, the organisation hopes to become more parish-based. They want to make headway in the central and southern parts of the country especially. There was once a group in San Fernando but it did not last.

Members from these areas instead have to join existing groups in the area most convenient to them. For example, in the St Augustine group there are individuals from Marabella and Tortuga .

Singles for Christ photos from their 2004 retreat. Taken from the Couples for Christ website

CFC depends a lot on the priest's support. They only enter a parish if the priest expresses interest or invites them to have a CLP. CLPs can be held at any central location in a parish, including a member's home.

To qualify for SFC you just have to be unmarried. You can have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You could also be in the consecrated life. Some people from the group have gone into the consecrated life and still remain members.

SFC is not about hooking singles up with other singles. There have been a couple of marriages through Singles For Christ, but that was the good fortune of the individuals.

With the activities there is ample opportunity to meet people and the door is open for people to interact. SFC is very missionary in purpose. It is a circle of support in a world that is difficult to face alone.

I spoke with some members of Singles for Christ and asked them about their own experience in the group. Here is some of what they said:

"I've grown a lot, it has helped me to learn more about the teachings of the Church. There are a lot of things I'm aware of now that I wasn't aware of before. It has done a lot for me socially, spiritually, I have met a lot of singles my age, I have been able to socialise better... Spiritually I am a lot further than I was before and it is a group that I will always want to be a part of."

Leslie Mendes, Paramin unit

"On getting to know what they're about, their holistic approach, I saw that there was an outlet for my pro-life stance. I try to facilitate programmes in CFC, SFC, YFC that allow them to have the full teaching of the Church in that regard, therefore I regard it as worthwhile for gaining a full appreciation of the Church's teachings on family life and building one's faith."

Mark Dopwell, Diego Martin unit

"SFC has challenged me to be a better Christian. It has allowed me to grow. the regularity, the strength of community and the fellowship. It helps you find your place and it encourages you to continuously work on yourself and improve."

Matthew Eversley, St Augustine unit

"I like that it is family-focussed and charismatic in nature. I think the reason the Lord permitted me to join is really to grow in singleness and in masculinity. It has helped me to become more of a man. I think it is preparing me for my future vocation. It's really reinforced Pope John Paul's teaching about the dignity of the human person and that whole theology of the body. That has really come home to me through CFC."

Sean Julien, St Augustine unit

"The different topics they discuss help you to grow spiritually as a person, make you more spiritually mature. I like the social events as well and the different times that we meet as a whole group and have the conferences."

Michelle Stuart, St Augustine unit

"In interacting with these women I grew with my own personality, my ability to listen to people, to take advice. I saw that CFC is God-based, Holy Spirit-based. It has also helped me realise that singleness is not all doom and gloom.

A few years ago, I was wondering what was happening with my life wondering about getting married, but now it's more like, 'I'm at this point now, let me enjoy it'. I have other people like me who can grow with me, who are experiencing the same thing and we can enjoy ourselves together in our singleness."

Francesca Monsegue, St Augustine unit

There are other aspects of SFC that are important to them. All discussions at meetings are confidential, which helps them be very honest. It is good preparation for all vocations. Most of the members want to get married and have children someday. Others want to enter religious life.

Those I spoke with agree that it helps them deal better with being single. They acknowledge that being single is not the same as being lonely. You can be lonely in a marriage or in the religious life.

Valentine's day is not a source of stress because, as Matthew put it, "as far as we are concerned those things (Valentine's day, Mother's and Father's day) are part of our future."