I am hard pressed to think of many married couples that have become saints. With the exception of Joachim and Ann (Mary's parents), I can't think of any other married couple that has been canonised. I understand that Mary and Joseph don't count because even though they were married, they remained celibate!

It's not that married couples are not striving for sanctity, but in a world where every other couple gets divorced, it's not surprising that's all you hear about. Very little is "glamorised/headlined" about married couples who are sustaining their relationship and trying to lead each other to heaven in the face of multiple challenges.

I wish to say a few things from my experience about married couples striving for sainthood in the current decadence of our society. And it's not that these people are perfect. Far from it. We married people are trying like everyone else (I hope), and yes, our human weaknesses make us prone to error.

We offend this society by trying to be faithful where infidelity is "no big thing". We hurt the ones we love by succumbing to pressures and not being humble enough to lean on each other when the going gets tough. And even further, we don't lean on Jesus.

Humility

The words "I love you" mean as well that when people make mistakes we are open at some point to accepting an apology and making up and moving on. In saying this I include as well finding ways to deal with and make reparation for any injuries that occur.

The pride of this society demands that we not accept an apology and that we must get even. Now, the one thing I have observed from all the people involved in successful healing ministry is their humility. Humility is something that goes against the grain because in the three little words "I love you", few of us internalise that love is sacrificial and ultimately requires a total giving up of "self".

Yet it is in this humility that there is the strength and the power to overcome. That's why "the language of the cross makes no sense to those who are on their way to hell." (1 Corinthians 1:18) It is hard for us to roll over and look like a "mook".

Humility is power

Humility is the lubricant of healing and is the real power in prayer. Married couples because of the sacredness of their union have innate spiritual power at their disposal. " What God has put together let no one divide ."(Mathew 19:6).

This is a divine commandment and it comes with consequences/curses for those who meddle in "married people business". Now I am not just talking about adultery. Rather about persons who destroy a couple's dreams, take away their livelihood and tarnish their character. Individuals who go out of their way to diabolically destroy marriages.

The scriptures tell us that every baptised Christian is a priest. In Revelation 1:6 we are told Jesus " loves us.has washed away our sins with his blood, and made us a line of kings, priests to serve his God and Father ."

For young people getting married, you need to know the power you have at your disposal as "priests" conferring a sacrament on each other. As well, that each sacrament has its own grace and especially when we are in trouble, we need to ask for the special grace/strength that we receive in marriage to be applied immediately to that situation.

We learn from Jesus that praying together has a special power. Matthew 18:19 says, " If two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven ." So when a couple prays for each other and together pray directly about a situation, that kind of prayer is all-powerful.

Change the world

The power lies in humility. When the humble and contrite heart goes before God, the resultant prayer is strong. When a couple exercises the real power of matrimony and go before God with purity of heart, they get God's attention "one time." You can move mountains (cf Matthew 21:18 -22).

As for my wife Susan and me, our married life thus far, has been lived out in a very public way. We are far from being saints, but we want to say simply, that ordinary people can live holy lives and be committed to each other. That is one of the decisions we undertake as married people - to live lives pleasing to God and lead each other to heaven.

Now look at the licks we get for this. Why they tryin' to be so perfect? What they tryin' to prove? Being "good is so boring". Why they always together?

Who she feel she is? I know him long time.. Or, What kinda man he is? Why he cyar be like everybody else?

Now if I was living like de rest of de boys and horn mih wife about 10 times, I would be considered normal. Similarly for Susan, dis town wants to know why she doh run something like all the others who sleepin' around to get ahead.

It's quite unfortunate that the Church does not have more contemporary examples of married couples that have become saints because certainly we need more if only to balance the misconception that there is something strange about living a life pleasing to God.

Society seems to accept as a fact that marital "bliss-ters" make it impossible for marriages to work and for people in marriage to have sainthood as a goal. Let alone just try to make marriage a success.

Having said that, let me re-emphasise that the power to overcome is found in a couple's prayer life. An example of this is found in Tobit 8: 7 where the couple's prayer was able to overcome the demon and restore the sight of the groom's father.

Tobit is only found in a Catholic Bible so make sure you get a complete copy of the Bible before you go looking for this book. Ultimately the battle for marriage and family life is fought out against powers and principalities, but these devils come disguised sometimes as "friends and acquaintances."

The devil prowls around in disguise seeking to devour all that is good. So put on God's armour (Ephesians 6:10 -20), test everything and hold on to that which is true.

Tools

Just as Tobit can only be found in a Catholic Bible, so too we as Catholics have many tools that if we truly took the time to understand how they work we would not be in this mess.

The spiritual warfare that is going on affects everyone. Whether you accept it or not does not matter. Let me tell you just two of the statements, which prefaced the diabolical attacks Susan and I have endured. Quote #one: "We understand that you all are Christians.."

Quote #two: "Forget the husband and wife thing..." If I tell you who said those words to us, and what happened next, you "go hold yuh head and bawl". This is as real as it gets in sweet Trinidad and Tobago that's why we have chosen another way to deal with Satan and his employees.

We have discovered too that after people get themselves into a real diabolical mess, only then they crawl back to the Church, and they have to go looking for some priest to "tire out" in their desperate bid for salvation.

Here are four tools that Susan and I have found useful in our battle with Satan. They are not in any order since the truth is these tools work best when they are ALL in use.

1. PRAY THE ROSARY. At the wedding feast in Cana (John 2:1-12), it was Jesus' mother Mary who brought the couple's crisis to his attention leading to him "restoring the wine" to the life of this young couple. Mary's prayer restores the honeymoon in marriages. Mary is pure. Mary is humble and she is Jesus' mother. Jesus never tells His mother 'No.'

2. EUCHARISTIC ADORATION. As Catholics, we believe that Jesus is truly present under the appearance of the bread and wine. St Paul tells the Corinthians that the reason why some of them are sick and some have died is because they failed to show respect for the Body and Blood of Jesus present at the service (1 Cor 11:28-32).

But if you want to save your marriage etc. there are Eucharistic chapels (some are open 24 hours) where you can go and let Jesus deal with your situation. St Ann 's, Curepe and St Finbar's are just three of the places where Jesus literally has office hours ALL DAY.

That leads me to the Mass. The Mass is the prayer of Jesus. Every prayer gets its power from the relationship between the two persons. A favourite child will get something from a father that a stranger will not get.

Now Jesus is the most pleasing Son of the Father and consequently His prayer will be the most powerful prayer in the world. The prayer of Jesus is the Mass. The prayer of Jesus is as strong as it gets and hence there is nothing stronger than the Mass. As the priest prays, situations and people can be consecrated and transformed at the altar of the Lord.

We simply place these situations before Jesus for them to be transformed at the point that the bread and wine becomes His body and blood. Make sure you leave them there too. People are literally walking around with their burdens when you just need to get that off your chest.

3. CONFESSION. So when last you deleted the junk from the re-cycle bin? We all need to get rid of the burdens and the junk that keeps us back and separates us from God. A humble and contrite heart is required.

If any of you are "sick" you must pray, confess your sins and you shall be healed (James 5:13 -18). When we turn from our sins God promises to restore our marriages, our society and heal the land. Sin blocks God from working so take your pick.

The priest has been commissioned, " Receive the Holy Spirit. For those whose sins you forgive they are forgiven. Whose sins you retain they are retained " (John 20:23 ). Go see your priest.

4. THE WORD OF GOD. Jesus used his knowledge of the scriptures to defeat Satan. The word of God is alive and active and cuts like a two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12 ). I've told you about the prayer of the couple found in Tobit.

I'll tell you one more, but remember that all scripture is inspired by God and useful (2 Timothy 3:16 ). In Deut 27 there is a long section, which talks about the curses for not obeying God's commandments. Then right after in Deut 28:1-14 read and pray "God's Promised Blessings" to those who are faithful.

Then right after that there is a longer section on the curses for unfaithfulness. I pray and trust that God in His mercy will find us faithful and heal our marriages and restore our land.