A group of six fathers took their daughters and their Form Two classmates at St Joseph 's Convent, Port of Spain , on an outing to the “mall” on May 20. The outing was in fact a 45-minute Fathers' Forum at the school, entitled “A Day at the Mall”.

Curtis Sealy opened the presentation by telling the girls that they were going on a shopping spree for five hours with unlimited money. They were asked to fill out a mall brochure, choosing the stores they wished to visit. To the delight of the girls, this was done to the strains of “Girls just wanna have fun”.

An excellent parallel was then made between St Joseph 's Convent and a mall, with five hours being five years and the unlimited money being time spent at school. Items purchased would be representative of the choices made by the girls regarding their education.

Lloyd Lezama spoke on the much-anticipated visit to the “Boys Store”. He informed the girls that now was not the time for one on one relationships. Boys their age were not mature enough for relationships that required love and which meant showing responsibility, respect, and commitment.

It was okay to have boys as friends, but not a boyfriend. He asked them to be patient, to focus on their education and goals and wait to have a relationship when there was no pressure and when they could handle it.

Sealy returned with a reminder to the students to ensure that their “shopping basket” was not empty or full of unnecessary stuff at the end of their five years.

Ibn Jan then spoke about the “Bookstore”. He told the girls to look at learning as fun and that it was necessary to train their brain for exams. He said that education was empowerment and that while it was possible to get a bad education, they could still learn from mistakes.

He informed them that education was the vehicle to get them from plan to goal and, without it, they would have given away their potential. He ended by telling them that it was necessary to make the best of opportunities by balancing life and education.

Roger Salloum spoke on “The Music & Video Store” and started his presentation with music. He shared his personal experience as a musician, of having been an emotional person who was exposed to everything the music world had to offer, such as sex and drugs.

Fathers at the forum held at St Joseph's Convent, Port of Spain

He considered himself fortunate to have recognised the dangers and to have made the right choice to get out of it. He told the students that music in today's world was not only about lyrics but video, technology and the Internet.

The portrayal of jewelry, cars, “cribs” and scantily dressed girls was intended to target young people and influence their behaviour.

Salloum told of how fantastic music was since it created emotion and could make someone extremely happy. However, he noted, there was good and bad music and it was important to make the right choice.

The girls were asked to repeat, “Nobody will take my education that is in my brain away from me.” He ended, to the delight of the girls, with more music and a few dance moves, and told them to enjoy music responsibly.

Andy Thomas had the daunting task of talking about the “Spirituality Store” and the girls groaned when they heard his topic. He told them that spirituality was about a relationship with God and each other. He read a letter, with the girls responding at intervals with the words, “I am special”.

He told them that God speaks to them personally so they must develop character and choose to love, create, persevere and praise. The students appreciated his approach to the topic and he received the loudest applause.

Ricky Garcia spoke on “Self-Esteem”. He related a true experience of someone named “Johnny” who had a difficult and unhappy life growing up with an abusive stepfather and an inability to love himself no matter what he did.

At the end of the story he informed the girls that he had been speaking about himself, and told them that if they did not love themselves that they would never find peace. He said though life might not be easy at times, especially in the absence of a father, they must believe that between the work of God and themselves they would never fail.

Garcia's personal experience got him a standing ovation from the students, who were genuinely touched by his story.

Sealy ended the forum with the song Thinking Over .

In attendance were all the Form 2 classes, dean Karen Fraser, the form mistresses, the wives of some of the fathers (Nadia Jan, Debbie Garcia and Sandra Salloum), as well as Rosemarie Ho and Gillian Rollock.

Prepared by: Rosemarie Ho

TRINI-DADS

A source of enrichment, empowerment and balance for the teenage heart

Trini-Dads was formed on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 at the home of Roger Salloum, one of our members. The genesis of the group was a direct request from the principal of St Joseph 's Convent, Port of Spain , to create a Fathers' Forum for the Form 2 students.

The idea was that the forum would allow the fathers of these girls to express their views on topics that they believed to be key to the personal development of their daughters.

Until then, personal development classes at the school had only been conducted by a group of volunteer mothers. Principal Elizabeth Crouch felt that the time had come for the girls to be offered a male perspective on what was being taught in these classes.

From our very first meeting it was evident that she was right: the time had indeed come. The ideas and passion that flowed freely at that meeting were nothing short of overwhelming. Each dad contributed unreservedly, as if they had been waiting his whole life to break free of the stereotype of the “male provider”.

One might, on listening to the meeting that night, have been easily fooled into thinking that the room was filled with concerned mothers. Such is the division that has so long existed between the male and female role models in Trinidad . Dad provides, Mother nurtures.

Trini-Dads is of the opinion that in today's cynical, fragmented world, it takes the combined effort of both parents to raise a child successfully. In an era of single-parent families and absentee fathers, we resolve to:

•  Remove the typical Trini male stereotype

•  Encourage more fathers to take part in the fostering of their children's minds and souls.

•  Empower, enrich and balance our teenagers.

After a number of very tense and focused meetings, we crystallised our first presentation – “A Day at the Mall”. The topic was really a metaphor for life, with each “store” addressing hurdles and challenges that teenagers encounter as they navigate their formative years. Some of the “stores” presented were:

•  Bookstore -- Education

•  Music & Entertainment – Effects of music and media on teenage psyche

•  Boys Store -- The most popular store of females

•  Spirituality -- Need for spiritual growth and balance

•  Boutique/Spa – Self-esteem and inner worth

Each father was responsible for a presentation, and we believe that God truly inspired everyone present on that afternoon of May 20. Based solely on feedback from the girls, we achieved our objective, which was to create a medium to empower, enrich and balance our daughters.

What was truly mind-boggling about how it all came together was that none of the fathers had known what the others were going to say, as we had had no rehearsals because of our busy schedules.

To say that the girls were moved and touched would be an understatement. The news of the presentation has spread like wildfire to other schools and parents. One very touching story came from a girl who was at loggerheads with her parents, but who went home after the presentation and told them that she had found new hope in her life.

We are convinced that God has constructed a team of individuals from multi-ethnic, multi-religious backgrounds to assist in the guidance of his flock.