Do young people really abstain from sexual activity in a sexually-charged world?

Some believe they can.

On March 19, the Feast of St Joseph, 37 young people, aged 12 to 20 years, pledged to abstain from sexual activity until they married. The simple ceremony at Sugar Reef Restaurant, Rockley, Christ Church , marked the close of an abstinence programme given by the Living Water Community (LWC), Barbados .

Refraining from sexual activity outside of marriage has always been part of Church teaching, said mission leader, Rosemary Scott.

“Even if cultures change, God's values don't,” she said. “If we look at John Paul II, he never watered down the faith.

“We have never advocated that we should stay away from sex because it's dirty, but it has its place in the marriage context, and it is certainly a gift from God.”

But, can a 12 or 13 year-old make such a weighty promise?

“I made my own decision, or else I would not have done it,” said 13 year-old Evana Johnson. “I thought it would be good to do this because I don't want to go through some of the problems teens go through because of a silly decision.”

Gail Ramsay's daughter also made the pledge, and still remembers the array of emotions as her daughter pronounced the words and slipped on the tiny, cross-tipped silver ring.

“It was a sense of, ‘Lord, I hope she stays to this!'” she admitted. “People have been saying, ‘My God, she's 13! You have a lot of expectation!' But, I believe it can work,” she said, firmly.

“If something happens, yes, I'll be disappointed - it's very human to be disappointed. But, it is an ideal that I would hope she would live up to.”

LWC offered the programme when concerned parents urged them to help their teens navigate the world's tricky social and moral landscape. Scott, with a team of interested parents and adults, adapted an existing abstinence programme used in the state of Louisiana , USA , introducing faith-based elements into it.

Over nine weeks, teens, parents and the ministry team shared about healthy, creative dating ideas, how to choose friends, the myths surrounding love and safe sex, communication skills, building healthy relationships between parents and teens, respecting themselves and others, and sexually transmitted diseases and trusting God to be a part of their lives. Interestingly, parents freely shared experiences of their own youth.

From the beginning, the young people were told that they were free to choose to make the pledge of abstinence, or not. Everyone, including two adult helpers, made the pledge before God, their peers, parents and Bishop of Bridgetown, Malcolm Galt.

They each received a certificate - on which was printed the words of their pledge - and a silver ring, blessed by the bishop, to be worn on their wedding fingers as an outward sign of their special way of life.

Bishop of Bridgetown, Malcolm Galt, blesses the silver rings as a sign of the abstinence pledge the wearers make. LWC mission leader, Rosemary Scott, is at left. Photo: Linda Corbin.

The pledge was not a “vow”, Bishop Galt was careful to note. This is the first abstinence programme offered by the Barbados LWC; another has since begun. However, studies in the US and UK recently reported that teens who did abstinence programmes were more likely to indulge in sexual experimentation than those who didn't.

But, proponents of preaching abstinence in those countries say it's too early to tell, that there hasn't been a sufficient history of abstinence programmes from which to draw fair conclusions.

But, it does happen that some people engage in sexual behaviour, even after such a programme, for various reasons.

“Group euphoria” is often a major one, suggested clinical psychologist and counsellor, Fr Theodore Taylor, OP. “Given the group pressure that you're putting them under - you're getting them all together, and you're working it all up ...” People may get caught up in the emotion of the moment, he said, and, “if you make them promise something ... they (may) find that promise very hard to keep.”

But, Evana found it easier to do the programme and stick to it because two of her best friends did it with her.

“I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have somebody to do it with, as well,” she admitted.

Young people may also succumb to the pressures of growing up in a society, said Fr Taylor, “which is very tolerant of sexual behaviour. At 16, most young people are feeling the force of sexual urges.”

They may already have been thinking about sex and may have the best of intentions, especially coming out of an abstinence programme. But, “under the pressure of sexual urge,” he explained, “the kind of things one has up above in one's mind tend to get forgotten in the intensity of the moment.”

Scott accepts that not everyone may stick to the pledge.

“I always reflect on the passage in the scriptures that talks about the parable of the sower and the seed,” she mused. “The seed is planted in all, but you never get 100 percent yield, but they can never say they never knew the options presented to them.

“It is our responsibility as Catholic educators to give them the options that are possible for them.”

But, telling young people, from the outset, that it was not likely that all of them would keep the pledge would be giving them, “an outlet that you don't want to encourage,” said Scott. “That's saying we don't believe in the strength of the young people.”

It's more important to give them the tools, and hope they use them well. For those who fail to keep the pledge of abstinence, they are always encouraged to start again.

“I think we were clear about that,” said Scott. “That the Church, the group, their families are there to support them.

“None of us are perfect, but we do the best we can with the grace of God. Our Church is a place of sinners, and saints, and all are welcome.”